The Skull

I have a friend called The Skull. All there is of him is a head – in the form of a bare skull, hence the name. Hes white, as skulls tend to be, and he is plastic. He comes from a pound shop in Sydenham. He had a body once but it got lost.  He has a moveable jaw. Another thing about The Skull – he has made me jump a few times in the night because he glows in the dark. I forget he is there. He doesn’t do much day to day. But before I go to sleep I like to scan my room for intruders. Yes, I know this is absurd. But its no more absurd than when you’re watching Jaws and you make sure your foot isn’t hanging off of the sofa in case the shark comes. I just  like to check my room for anything amiss and I feel a pang when I see a little glow in the corner. Ah, its just The Skull.

Anyway, I got a bit irritated with The Skull after a while. As I said, day to day, he does very little so I started to wonder exactly what he was bringing to the table. Lets say we had words about the lack of skeletal contributions to the council tax bill and the tendency of his to eat the last onion (he eats it like an apple) just as I was planning to cook myself a tasty pile of pasta. So I though, sod him, and I threw him away.

I was raged

I threw him down

I put him in the bin

Its time to cull

That sorry skull

That cranium of sin.

So my bony friend took a trip to the town dump. When The Skull found himself sharing a dwelling with 6,000 used sanitary towels and 1,000 copies of undelivered News Shoppers, he cried and cried. He vowed to change his ways; he looked heaven-wards and prayed for redemption. And we must share a connection hitherto unaccounted for, me and The Skull because I quickly came to regret my impulsive actions. I soon came to miss the thrill of his little head, glowing away in an alcove and making me think twice at bedtime.

I took off for the local waste disposal site and set to work. Hours passed and I remained empty-handed. I would not leave as such, I told myself. I would find The Skull.

Night fell and I continued my quest. And, oh, luck was with me for there was The Skull! There he was! On a pile of rubbish, glowing in the dark as he knows how to. And I ran to him. I scooped up that cranium and placed him in my pocket.

I was enraged

I shot you down

I chucked you right away

I dumped you Skull

But life was dull

I’m glad you’re back today