Text message received

Text received from friend: “Miss XYZ who we went to school with had a boy and called him Zack. What a cliche”

My reply: “Hopefully its eyes aren’t too close together like hers.”

Oh dear. I don’t know whats worse. Not being overjoyed at yet another planet earth birth. Associating with a fellow scorn-pouring cynic (criticising a parent’s choice of name for their sprog  is just beyond the pale) or referring to the child as ‘it’.

I hated XYZ at school. Not ‘cos of the eyes. If she weren’t so insincere I’d never have given the eyes a second look (ha).

I couldn’t give a hang about piggy eyes or her child. I like the phrase “couldn’t give a hang”. What is “a hang”? A nice way of saying the f word I think; a Blyton saying maybe? Now, I don’t wish harm to anyone. I love children. I wish all the children in the world, black and white, could come together and make a Coke advert.

Truth be told. I like some people. So, by extension, I think their kids (present and future) are ace.  If I don’t know you, all options are open. I’m down with random nippers on the bus – they will usually get a grin from me. But if I already had the chance to know you and I don’t like you, I certainly don’t give a hang about someone you’ve had the misfortune to produce who is 50% you.

I will have a little peek on Facebook later, if her page is visible, just check its eyes.